In California you smile at the strangers walking by to be polite. In New York, if you smile at the person next to you you’ll get shot.
Well maybe not to that extreme, but New Yorkers are known to be aggressive, to fight for themselves and constantly be on the offense. Southern Californians are quite the opposite. We’re chill, relaxed, love everyone and just like to smile. So I smile. And I learned that if you smile at a stranger walking by in Italy, it means that you want to have sex with them. If you smile at a stranger walking by in New York, it means that you want to have sex with them.
Apparently I didn’t get the memo.
Not only are New Yorkers aggressive by nature but men are aggressive on the streets too. Within the eight days that we were there of which five we were actually outside the apartment we managed to collect five phone numbers without trying. And really this isn’t to “toot my own horn” as they say, but honestly the numbers were literally shoved into our hands. Take for example on our third day out in the city we were walking through the Financial District – oh, I need to pause here to mention how different these men are. The second you get off the metro, I mean subway (apparently no New Yorker calls the metro the metro), at the Wall Street stop, between all the high rise buildings are men completely suited with briefcases and walk with a specific destination in mind. It’s fantastic. I need to date one of those. Unfortunately one of those weren’t the ones who gave us their numbers. So we were walking through Wall Street on our way to the World Trade Center construction site, when I stopped Hannah to look at a building. “Isn’t that building pretty? Look at the windows!” Within the minute it took for Hannah to stop, take out her camera and snap a picture, a man came running to her and shoved a piece of paper into her hand with his name and phone number scribbled on it.
He was a mail delivery guy dressed in a U.S. Postal Service uniform.
He had hopped off his mail truck to grab the slim window of opportunity of Hannah pausing. Hannah was curt and unfriendly. I couldn’t stop laughing. He must’ve had the paper ready because we were walking by so fast. Maybe he has a stash of them prepared every day to increase the odds of somebody calling him back. Another guy we met at a bar. He was a bartender and his name is Gibrey Allen. Full time bartender, part time actor. Apparently all bartenders in the city are part time models or actors and eventually want to make it out to California to “sell out” and become a big movie star.
New Yorkers think Californians are crazy. Actually everybody outside of California think Californians are crazy. And honestly there are things outside of our beautiful sunny state that are as bizarre to me as an Italian man walking an Italian poodle and not picking up after it while chatting it up with a police officer.
But still they always say “California” in a sing song voice.
“Where are you from?”
“California.”
“Ooh, Caaaliiifornia! That’s where I want to be.”
“You and me both buddy.”
There is honestly no place on this planet that has weather like Southern California. There’s America, and then there’s California. It really is true. It doesn’t snow in my America. Nor does it ever get lower than 60 degrees. In my America we have an Austrian ex-terminator as governor and movie stars shopping at our malls. In my America people have water in their pools in the middle of January. It’s how life should be.
New York’s weather was a frozen hell. I never knew what a wind chill was until I experienced it in New York. The weather would be 23 degrees but it would feel like 0 with the wind slapping my face like a gay man with a leather glove.
On our first day in New York we woke up to our first city snowfall. It was beautiful. Hannah jumped up and down and took pictures on her new SLR. We then changed into the clothes we were in yesterday and gurgled toothpaste before heading out to tackle Manhattan. Thanks to our luggage getting left behind in Philadelphia we had to buy everything before the stores closed up for New Year’s because it was New Year’s Eve and we didn’t have a thing to wear. We rushed through the streets of Soho like mad women going in and out of stores checking things off of our list. Dress, check, heels, check, make-up, check, accessories, check, jacket, check, toothbrush? Check. It was insanity but somehow we actually pulled it off and while eating left over Chinese food we got ready for our New Year’s Eve in New York City.
We didn’t go out to Times Square like the other 2 billion people. Within the last week the city of New York added 400 police officers just for the new year. Times Square was supposed to be the number one location for a possible terrorist attack. I didn’t want to risk it.
The day after we decided to take a chill pill and stay in with more chinese food delivered and movies on Amos’ endless movie hard drive.
“I’m not leaving this apartment.”
“Leave!” yelled our roommate, Brandon.
“MAKE ME!”
… He was joking. =) He loved us.
January 2. We finally got out of Amos’ cozy apartment and dived head first into the freezing cold that is New York and headed out to the lower east side to see the Tenement Museum. Then we stood in line for an hour to get inside the Marc Jacobs store. At night we went to Times Square and it was beautiful! You see it in the movies, but it’s just so much bigger than it is on the screen. The lights and the hugeness of the advertisements are unreal. We walked around Times Square and then walked to the Rockefeller Center where we took more pictures and applauded ourselves for bearing with the cold. Serendipity Cafe had a three-hour wait so we went to Dylan’s Candy Store and Urban until finally being able to try the Hollywood famous Frozen Hot Chocolate.
It was a chocolate slushie.
January 3. Museum Day.
Spent the entire morning at the Met. With all the different museums I’ve been to I’m slowly but surely completing the Van Gogh collection in my head. At the Met we saw the Irises, and the Cyprus Trees and the Poinsettias. Oh, he was just brilliant, but I must say the Museum of Natural History was my favorite by far. I LOVE the elephants! So much fun to see stuffed things. haha. Hannah was unappreciative saying it was like going to the zoo with dead animals.
The Oceanic Life room was amazing! The blue whale and the giant squid! It felt like you were scuba diving. Oh, if I lived in New York I would buy a museum pass and come sit in that room every day.
January 4. Brooklyn!
We walked across the Brooklyn Bridge, which is where Carrie shot her intro for Sex and The City. The skyline is beautiful. We ate Brooklyn pizza (which isn’t that great to be honest. Pizza is pizza.), then made it out to the Ferry dock where we wanted to ride the Ellis Island Ferry to go to the Statue of Liberty. The line was unbelievable. Like at least 2 hours long. When we thought the line just couldn’t be longer, we turned a corner and the line stretched out double its length. I was amazed at the determination of these tourists waiting in the freezing bitter cold of 23 degrees. We opted out and caught the free ride to Staten Island instead where we picked up another number by accident. Blegh. A Mr. Danny.
“It’s cold out here huh?”
“Yea, it is!”
“Where you girls from?”
“California.”
“Ooo, California! I can be that guy – “
“I’m sorry, what Hannah? Oh yea, let’s go outside. Sorry we’re going to go outside. It was nice to mee – “
“Oh! I’ll go out with you!”
“Oh…kay…”
“So as I was saying I could be that guy that you see everytime you come back to New York.”
“Oh… right.”
Awkward staring for 30 seconds until he goes, “So take down my number!”
MOMA, Oyster Bar, 5th Ave and the Empire State Building took up the rest of our night but the most fabulous highlight of our entire day and perhaps our entire trip was meeting Edward Bess. Oh Edward Bess. The most beautiful thing ever.
He has the face of an angel and the charm of a true southern gentleman. From South Carolina, he is 24 years old and creator, owner of the hit make-up line Edward Bess, featured in New York’s Bergdorf and worn by celebrities like Kate Moss. He started his line three years ago and now has NY’s #1 bestseller mascara. While complimenting him on his fast success, he said, “So, what do you girls do?”
“I’m 22 and unemployed…”
“Oh, with that face you have nothing to worry about!”
*blush blush blush.
We each bought make-up signed by Edward and took pictures after which Hannah exclaimed, “Wow. You look great!”
“Oh, stop!” he said smiling. Too bad he’s gay gay gay.
January 5. Our last day in New York we went ice skating in Central Park with Elena Carina, my dear friend from Milan who is so Italy love sick that she can’t think of anything else but our past Milan life. She took us to Schnipper’s, a restaurant famous for their mac ‘n’ cheese and sloppy joe combo. It was So Good. I can’t believe how genius that combination is. After lunch we went to the New York Public Library where Elena said we were officially obsessed with Sex and The City. (The Public Library is where Carrie had her almost wedding with Mr. Big.)
At night we watched Memphis, my first broadway musical. It was fantastic and almost made me cry. People are just so talented it makes me upset, because I’m not.
For our last night in the city we decided to see what NY’s night life had to our LA’s by going to today’s hottest Manhattan neighborhood: the Meatpacking District. The difference with LA and NY is that LA is set. We have great restaurants, nightlife, clubs and neighborhoods but they’re all set in stone. There will never be a new Hollywood, there will never be another Beverly Hills. But in New York, everything is constantly changing. Somebody is tearing down a building to build another one. New neighborhoods are literally popping up around the corner. What was once a ghetto is now the new crowded street past midnight. So we got a name and a number from our New Yorker friend Elena who said to “Give him a call.”
We actually don’t know anything about the guy. Something about Elena’s friend who knows a guy who’s friends with this guy named Troy? A promoter?
“Come to TenJune! Meet me in the front at midnight.”
“Is there cover?”
“Free. Hot girls. 
“
Hannah and I looked at each other and immediately wondered if we qualified as “hot girls.”
We make it to TenJune five past midnight and find Troy who not only gets us in for free but has a table with free drinks all night. Troy apparently is one of the best promoters of the city. People that don’t even know him use his name at the door and get in. TenJune was supposedly the place to be on a Tuesday night. The music was fantastic but the crowd, not so much. A Long Islander named Elan (gorgeous) said with disdain, “most of these girls are 19.” Ugh. The best part of the night was grabbing a taxi ride home and ending up at Joe’s Pizza on our block, who has the best pizza in the world.
On our way out, some douchebags thinking they’re some hot shit yelled out, “Bye baby!”
“Yea, you’re so macho yelling that on our way out!”
I’m just kidding. I didn’t actually yell that. Only because I can’t think of comebacks until I’m two blocks gone.
Every time we turned our heads down another street that ended in a skyline of buildings or mistakenly took the Chrysler building as the Empire State, we remembered that this was New York City. We actually never left Manhattan in our entire eight days. I was so sad to leave.
Although I’m sure that I never want to live there.
It’s just too damn cold.
Now you're in New York.
